Just another random memory from the good old school days plucked out of my pensieve!

Well, there are some teachers the whole school loves and there are some who are hated by everyone, right from the tiny tot in LKG to the big bully of the 10th standard. This memory is of one such Mrs P, who had a particularly strong dislike for me.

Before I start narrating the incident, some background knowledge is essential.

P used to teach me history in class 8, and unfortunately, history was slotted for the 5th period almost everyday, right after the lunch break. To add to this misery, was the fact that P’s idea of teaching history was to read out whatever was written in the book at 200 Db to the class. The 200 Db was important, because otherwise, it would be impossible for anyone, including P herself to stay awake in the class. Still, she got drowsy, and to be awake, she generally used to pick on her favourites (which unfortunately includes me!) and some of the last benchers (who are every teachers favourite when they want some entertainment). But even, this can get monotonous, and then she just used to call the ayah, who would be busy trying to clean spilt tiffin from the break and start up a chat with her. Unfortunately for us though, even this conversation would be at a high decibel levels, with even higher “Keep Quiets” thrown in between, so that we do not get a condusive atmosphere for chatting.

As for me, and most other boys, class 8 was a landmark year. After years of neglecting girls and stuff, our hormones started to take effect. And like most of the boys in my school, lunch break was often spent sitting in the class and eating tiffin with the girls rather than playing in the ground.

Anyways, I had quite a nice group of friends to sit and chat with in 8th standard, and more often than not (occassionaly, there were inter section cricket and kho-kho matches etc scheduled for the lunch break) spent the lunch break chatting in the class room itself.

So, now finally, the incident…
Class 8B was right next to the staff room. I had got ‘Dosa’ and ‘Molagai podi’ for tiffin. As it happens with cold dosa, with molagai podi, fingers get a dark black stain which needs soap to be removed. As expected my fingers had the black stain. But, the discussion going on was pretty interesting and quite hilarious, so I decided to stay on and have a bit more ‘fun’ before I go to wash my hands. Unfortunately though, 2 things happened. Firstly, I was so engrossed in the chatting that I forgot that lunch break was over, and my fingers still had that stain. Secondly, Mrs P decided to come early to the class. I had my back to the black board, did not know she was in there. At around the same time she entered the class, someone cracked a really amazing joke ( a so called non-veg one! as is the vogue among 8th standard boys) and I laughed out really loud. Others on seeing P, backed out, but I contuinued for a few costly seconds extra till furtive glances and frantic signals from my friends stopped me. But then, the damage was done. I expected her to lash out on me there and then, but surprsingly she was quiet. (Little did i suspect what was to follow!)

The borrrrring class goes on as usual, the only thing being, Mrs P did not get any victims to pick on that day. But, then there I was, ever-ready!

Suddenly in the middle of Sepoy Mutiny or the formation of the congress or something like that, Mrs P just stops, and says “Kaushik”.

I stand up, totally amazed, for I was neither “sketching in my note book”, “talking to my neighbour” nor “sleeping”. Confused and angry, I ask “Yes mam?”. She replies “Why were you laughing?”. Now, I really think that she has gone crazy. I repeat “Laughing? I was not laughing. Infact, I was not doing anything but read along with you”. She replies- “Not now, but at the end of the lunch break”. I get the point, and replied that “someone shared some joke”. She goes on-“But no-one else laughed. I saw only you laughing and that too laughing out loud HA HA HA”. I wanted to say that, if the others had not seen you, then even they would have been laughing HA HA HA, but obviously I could not tell that. I was quiet for a moment, trying to think of a convincing answer.

But unfortunately, my thought process was severed, when she shot back again at me “And look at you. Pen marks on your shirt, hair not cut, and your fingers still having remains of your tiffin…how do you manage to stay like this”. This really got me off gaurd and off everything. I was trying to blabber something, and then she shot back again, and now with the most embarassing of comments- “Kaushik, I think you need to meet a Psychiatrist. Tell your parents that I think you need some professional help”. By this time, my mind had gone totally numb. I did not know what to say, and moreso, I was thinking, I must have made some really big mistake or something, and just stood quiet.

But, thankfully Mrs P decided that she had enough. Her entertainment package was used completely for the day and started reading out the sepoy mutiny or the formation of the congress or whatever it was she was trying to teach.

As for me, I continued to stand, not knowing, if I was punished to stand, or if I sat down, she would start the whole thig up again. But again, thankfully, she asked me to sit down after a couple of minutes.

This memory has been etched into my mind. For some reason though, I still have trouble laughing out loud, or if I do so, think that I have made a fool of myself, think that probably, I have laughed out loud just for a couple of extra seconds etc etc….

And, I still HATE Mrs P.

1. Exams got over. Actually, they got over a week back, but I was too busy enjoying to blog.
2. Research has started. Right now, I have 40 technical papers staring down, with all un-understandable words and formulaes and programs, which some-how, I have to understand, and understand all alone, as my guide is flying off to the US for 2 months.
3. Am having (in IIT lingo) “Infinite fun”, that is loads of fun, laughing at the great Indian comedians, the politicians, and especially the tamil nadu elections. Each news episode on Sun TV and Jaya TV is a laugh riot.
4. Am a little sad that Pramod Mahajan passed away.
5. Who says, Indian team plays a lot of cricket. When will 18th may come.
6. Two Lives by Vikram Seth is really good. Especially, when he follows the life of his aunt Henny, who lost her mother and sister to the holocaust. Cannot imagine any person to hate another human so bad, and also, that same person, getting so many other people to believe he is right.
7. There is no book like Lord of the Rings. Third revision going on. But, not at the same speed.
8. Saw “Walk the line” again. Just love that movie. Saw “Ice AGe II”. you gotta watch it.
9. Said ‘Bye-Bye’ to Windows. Now, I am another “Linux” user. (though I have serious doubts about Linux’s performance on 128MB RAM)
10. Two weeks of bliss, my SUMMER VACATIONS is here!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. #1 by Moi on May 6, 2006 - 7:14 am

    may I laugh loud like Ha Ha Ha???
    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    funny bit with Mrs P
    reminded me of my science teacher in clss 8th who was another terror and had this hugely irritating habit of calling tuesdays as “juicedays”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for whatever reasons!!!!!!!!

    and my exams too are over πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  2. #2 by Agarwaen Mormegil on May 6, 2006 - 9:34 am

    man, i almost cried when i heard the news of pramod mahajan’s death. he was an efficient leader.
    and what type of linux distro you are using? suse, mandrake…which one?
    and tamil plitics is always fun..here in bengal, politics is serious business.

  3. #3 by Amrita on May 7, 2006 - 5:47 am

    hmm…quite an interesting recollection of ur school day incident..i guess almost all of us have some such memories about some such unique teachers…quite amusingly, ur episode reminded of one of Harry Potter’s episode with his least favorite teacher, Snape…yeah, and i agree there is no book like Lord of the Rings…absolutely brilliant! and i am planning to watch Ice Age-2 soon, thanks for that short comment on the movie…enjoy ur holidays and ve fun…byways, nice template! have a nice day.

  4. #4 by arun on May 12, 2006 - 6:10 pm

    I have experienced Mrs. P’s

    ‘ are u mental? u shd meet the psychiatrist ‘ too.

    dont wanna trigger my thts abt her anyway. so hastily packing her off.

  5. #5 by crazy diamond on June 3, 2006 - 1:56 pm

    hi … gettin back to ur blog after a long time … its always fun remembering school incidents … all of us have had similar incidents sometime or the other.

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