Short Temper

I have a bad one. I get angry really quickly. Although, over the years, I have developed a habit of keeping the anger in with me, and letting it out only on family members and close friends ( I should not torture them either….but they understand).

But, today, in the morning, in a few moments of action without thought, my anger, took a drastic decision, which is in no way going to help the already fragile relation-ship that I have with a lab-mate.

Our lab has an antediluvian back-up system. We have to insert tapes into it everyday, and these tapes are numbered. The software that does the backup, does not overwrite a tape nor does it allow us to skip numbers. Being the long weekend, I was lax in changing the tapes. And our system-administrator, quite correctly pointed it out.

This over enthusiastic lab-mate of mine, also pointed it out. I should not blame him for doing so, but still, I feel he had no reason to do it. And, this was the second time, that he decided to remind me, after the system-administrator, had posted on the group, asking us to take care of the back-ups. Again, it is not wrong that he decide to remind me again. But, somehow, the words that he used to do so, suggesting lack of seriousness and responsibility in me (something that even the system administrator did not seem to mention) blew me off.

I don’t have the best of relationships with the person. But it is not hate among us to. It is a cordial Hi-hello-and discussing research kind of a relationship. Things have not become much better than that, in the 6-7 months that we have been working together. Today, it took a step back. I wrote a sarcastic reply back to his reminder to the reminder email, and he got angry, and there were a few angry emails exchanged. Now, the status-quo would have changed to a different position. Will know that, once he returns from his summer internship.

Work wise, it is the same as yesterday. Wrote the boring bit of code. The optimization is taking even longer than I thought it would take. Although, the frustration for me today was that, I did nothing but watch the screen, as the computer was crunching numbers. I will have some results tomorrow, but effectively, I have wasted a good 5-6 hours of time when I could have worked, as tie simulation was running.

No cooking today. Went to an Indian restaurant that masquerades as an Afgani one. Spent a lot of time on you-tube watching arbit videos and songs. I cannot seem to get the song Pappu can’t dance from Jaane Tu out of my mind. Listened to it hajaar times since yesterday.

Adios then,

  1. #1 by janani on July 9, 2008 - 2:49 pm

    Oooh, someone’s on a roll, so many posts recently. 🙂

    Well I guess sometimes it’s better to let the other person know you are angry. I am a wuss when it comes to giving sharp retorts and then I stew inside and torture people around saying “avan/ava epdi ipdi sollalam” 🙂 If you didn’t have a great relationship with your lab mate even earlier, I guess it doesn’t matter what happens na

  2. #2 by kaushik on July 9, 2008 - 4:51 pm

    Ya! on a roll….want to write about daily life…atleast for sometime…for future reading sake.

    Me 2 am a wuss. Have not been able to shout at the room-mate of mine for a year now. And, boy, do I want to shout at him. I just am not comfortable with confrontation. I sent the mail, only because I knew he was in Texas.

  3. #3 by Anand on July 9, 2008 - 4:53 pm

    My Blog List shows me a new post every day now. Nice. I can’t get enough of my temper either. At times I feel like setting my office building on fire.

    PS – The nature of your blog is undergoing a gradual change.

  4. #4 by kaushik on July 9, 2008 - 7:02 pm

    Hey Anand!

    Well, i am going back to the start….this was why I started blogging, to write about daily things and sometimes throw in some memories or perspectives or whatever. But, as the charm wore off, I became less regular….now new-found enthusiasm to file away my days…lets see how long I sustain it.


  5. #5 by Anand on July 10, 2008 - 2:25 am

    There is a new page element called Blog List. Try it :p

  6. #6 by Usha on July 10, 2008 - 10:12 am

    Happens, but once you start working, this will lead you to new lows. So careful-a irunga 🙂 I was like that during school, ippolam thudaichu vittutu pora jadhi naan 😉

  7. #7 by Vinay on July 11, 2008 - 3:25 am

    but….. pappu can’t dance saala!!!

  8. #8 by kaushik on July 11, 2008 - 5:23 am

    I know. I just don’t practice (being careful, that is)

  9. #9 by kaushik on July 11, 2008 - 5:24 am

    Hey! How are things. Are the simulations showing any promise?

  10. #10 by Anu on July 11, 2008 - 3:48 pm

    Back here, to see to many posts since Appa’s lullabies. I used to have a temper to, till somebody pointed out to me that by loosing it, I fell to a lower level than the person I was angry at. The best things is a one liner saying thanks for the reminder and do a jog around the lab..beleive me it works.. Btw I keep playing pappu on my system all the time

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