Rants

Sometimes we have to learn about other people’s miseries to realize how lucky we are. I heard a very sad news regarding a friend yesterday. It reminded me of a even sadder news that I heard sometime in December’07. Both of them, put things in perspective for me. I have always taken so many things for granted, and whined at life for small set-backs. But never have I thought back, and be grateful that the so many things that I take for granted, are probably things that so many others dream of.

Yesterday, I felt that God should share miseries more evenly. But then, the next instant, selfishly, I realized that I cannot handle such miseries, and was thankful that miseries are not shared evenly, and some people are more lucky than others.

—-

I am not able to, however much I try, to pick up the phone and call my married friends. And now that, I am the only “single” guy left in my whole college gang, I find it even harder. It is a mix of jealousy and a feeling of being an outsider. Right after college, we would spend hours and hours on the phone. Each of us were having different experiences and there was lots of stories to be shared. Slowly, the novelty of our newer experiences began to wear off, and the excessive analysis into career and life planning hit a plateau. The frequency of the calls dwindled, but still, enough story got piled up, when I (or they) eventually called. But, all of a sudden, within six months, all of them have gotten married, and I almost feel that I am standing on the other side of the station, a chasm between their “married” stories and my school and research experiences. I almost do not want to hear their stories, because I cannot relate to it. And, I feel that I have nothing much new to add from my side of survival for the past 2 years…

I still have not got used to this change. I hope that I get over this soon.

—-

Snowy days can never replace the charm of a rainy night. While reading my novel (My name is Red), I just float back to late summer evenings in Calcutta.

As the sun would start its decent, a huge bulk of ominously dark cloud will materialize in the sky. We kids, playing in the terrace, will look at it expectantly. The cloud will then start coming closer, hiding the sun. Within a few moments, the clouds fill the sky, mixing the colours of dusk, purplish and reddish in the far , gradually becoming blue, with the enticing gray of rain bearing clouds. Special effects in the form of lightning at the edge where the cloud and blue sky form a blurry boundary, and loud thunder usher in the strong breeze. The trees sway to the breeze’s music, and the breeze sweeps up the dust and heat of the day. Protecting our eyes, from the sand blowing into us, our hair flowing in the breeze, we run down, just in time as the first rain-drops fall. I go to my room, switch on the light and the fan, which brings in and circulates the cool air to every-corner of my room, spreading the earthy fragrance, and start reading the amar-chitra-katha that I have been reading…

I almost feel the cool breeze and the earthy fragrance in my madison apartment, before I realize that it is snow that I see outside my window…

(photo from a blog called turquoise chill, which I found on google image search)

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  1. #1 by unpretentious on February 26, 2009 - 4:53 am

    very well written. i should visit your blog more often i see:)i was able to identify so much with u having nothin in common to share with your friends of the past. I go through the same and for some vague reason i feel more grown up than they are as i feel i ve experienced much more.

    so ur from Calcutta? that s nice. i ve alwasy wanted to visit that place. heard so much about the city. will surely be there one day and would like you to tell me what all i should eat, where i should go, what i should see etc.:)

  2. #2 by kaushik on February 26, 2009 - 9:11 pm

    Thanks!

    Calcutta is an awesome place during durga puja! visit it then šŸ™‚

    I haven’t been there since 2001 šŸ˜¦

  3. #3 by Ankur Gupta on February 27, 2009 - 2:42 am

    It was your blog then! It rained with rigor under dark clouds today.

    And, nice new template for the blog.

  4. #4 by Ammalu on March 3, 2009 - 1:12 pm

    I hate whiners too. Have seen serious whiners making up stuff to whine about since they dunt have genuine problems to whine abt šŸ˜› and I completely relate to the sec part . I forgot the last time i tried to communicate with my married friends esply the ones who giv marriage tips..the amarchitrakatha made me a tad too sad … like the dark clouds in the pic, dunt knw everything makes me emotional dese days šŸ˜

  5. #5 by Vinay on March 4, 2009 - 11:33 am

    Nice template man!

  6. #6 by Moi on March 5, 2009 - 3:18 pm

    šŸ™‚ I am tempted to come up with something silly as “Married are from Mars, Non-married from Neptune” ;DDD

    A lot of friendships lose steam with time, marriage or not…….don’t you think? While some bonds only grow stronger with time …though those are very rare.

    And yes, I am with you on rainy days…..I am waiting for the rains that come with spring here …..hopefully, they’ll be here sooner than later…..

    and no I am not upset with Midwest at all……:) given half a chance I would not want to move outside this place till I decide to leave back for home in India…….but I have been itching to make a career change for some time now…i thought of several things that I want to do ….going back to school for an MBA, going back to India, joining a non-profit etc…….and finally this hospital thing clicked and I am happy about it ….that’s why the change šŸ™‚

  1. Somethings never change « Wish you were here

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