Discipline

While talking with friends about 2011 resolutions, I listed mine as : “Work harder”. On, further thought, I think that should be changed to “Work regularly”.

I have sunk deep into a “chalta hai” attitude quick-sand.  My work mostly consists of pen-paper derivations or simple simulations ( ones which does not require a muscular computer), and lately, I have just kept pushing them for later, while horsing around on the internet all night long (like today). So much so, that there have been days this winter when I have hardly seen sunlight, and more days in which I have cooped up in my apartment, having fooled myself into thinking that ; a 10-15 minute “thought to the problem” is work.

It is one thing to be distracted by something and the distraction affecting your schedule, but to be distracted by nothing? I did not work, but thinking back, I achieved nothing else in that time.  In 2010, my casual reading decreased like anything, from 22-23 novels in 2009 to just around 10-11 in 2010. I hardly blogged or read anything useful online. All the time went away watching TV serials online.

But despite all this time wasting, November-December saw some exciting possibilities of solutions to the research problem that I have been “working” on for the past two years.

I know 2011 is going to be a very important year for me, and much of what I do (or not do) this year is going to decide, how soon I can graduate. 2011 is also going to be important because, I have to start thinking about graduation and job. I have to decide what job I want, research the preparation required to give good interviews for that, and prepare for the interviews. Importantly, If I am looking at jobs outside corporate research, I need a lot of reading and preparing to be done.

The foundation for all this comes back to the one thing that I have been lacking since school: Discipline and Focus.

I need to be disciplined to utilize time effectively. Determined to just work for a long periods in the day. I want to start with basic things like waking up at a regular time daily and going to the department at regular times. With the ideas that came up last month, bulk of what I need to do needs no inspiration but hard work. I need discipline to sit and get the code written, the proof completed etc.

Last year has been spent completely out of focus. I need to focus on finishing, on preparing for the future.

I need to get out of this rut. I have to. I must.

I hope I will.

I have always regarded self-help books as useless, but just a few moments ago, I got myself a “motivational poster” to remind me of the importance of staying focussed. I am beginning to think that a self-help book might help too. I know that, I cannot become an efficient person overnight; that the move towards efficiency has to be gradual etc etc, but old habits, especially the bad ones die hard. For instance, another restriction I made to myself was that I will refrain from doing a few “stupid” things, and 15 days into new year, I broke it.

I thought, after a refreshing holiday with a great start to the year, I will give a great start to my research this year. So far, it has been disappointing; having spent the last 10 days trying to convince myself that today is the last day of the old me.

I hope that as the year moves on, I become more and more Organized, Focused, Disciplined, Hard working.

I hope that, I be able to balance time on the stuff I need to do with the stuff I don’t need to do. I hope that I read more often (that gives me the most pleasure, but TV is addictive), blog more often. I used to love to read blogs, tweets etc, but since my internship, I have just refreshed FB a few million times a day (FB is internet’s TV, for sure).

Hope!

 

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  1. #1 by SK on January 14, 2011 - 11:46 am

    Hey
    I was there in your shoes at one point, wanting to discipline, forever procastinating.. etc.
    Self help books do help in my opinion.
    Dont worry if you fail, or if you dont keep up your resolutions, start every day afresh, with hope. In fact I start every week like a new year too. Ready to shed those bad habits and cultivate new ones.
    Its just the starting that is difficult, once you start, you will cruise along.

    Also keep SMART goals. Dont say should work regularly, say, should work 8hrs a day, or should accomplish something everyday or should learn something new everyday.
    Plan out your year. where you want to be by end of the year and then keep milestones every month and then break them smaller… you know, I dont have to tell.
    Try out The Power of Focus book http://www.amazon.com/Power-Focus-Greatest-Achievers-Financial/product-reviews/1558747524/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1
    its good, it helped me a lot.
    Good luck.

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